Who the Hell is Hamish? · The Australian

Introducing: My Sister's Secrets

·39 min·3 clips

Virginia Tapscott's earliest memories are of her seven-year-old sister Alex helping her run down a moonlit hallway to hide from their step-grandfather coming to their beds.

1. My Sister's Secrets is an investigative podcast by Virginia Tapscott and journalist Steve Jackson, published by The Australian, investigating the abuse and death of Virginia's sister Alex. 2. Virginia Tapscott is co-host, subject, and survivor; Steve Jackson is an investigative journalist from The Australian who is helping Virginia retrace events and interview witnesses. 3. The episode's core purpose is to establish the scope of the abuse Alex endured, the institutional and family failures that allowed it to continue unchecked, and why Virginia believes the story needs to be told publicly. 4. Alex Tapscott died at age 32 in June 2020 from a drug overdose in a motel in Newcastle, NSW, after spending her life trying to process two separate sexual assaults — one in childhood and one as a young adult. 5. Virginia's earliest memories include running down a moonlit hallway at night, hiding from her step-grandfather Bruce Tout, with seven-year-old Alex staying behind to protect her younger sister. 6. Alex first disclosed the abuse to her mother Lynn after an evening bath when she was seven years old; Virginia was approximately four at the time, and Tout had been systematically abusing Alex for over three years. 7. Lynn Tabb and her sister Kath drove to confront Tout directly instead of contacting police, as they did not want to publicly identify Alex as an abused child or cause distress to Lynn's mother Beverly. 8. During the production of the podcast, Lynn disclosed for the first time that Tout had also made repeated unwanted advances toward her as a teenager — groping her and making lewd comments — when he moved into the household as her step-father after her own father died when she was eleven. 9. Virginia and Steve meet family friend Nerida Goulet at her property near Narrabri; Nerida describes a visit from Beverly Tout shortly after the abuse was discovered, and reveals that Tout also physically pinned Nerida against a wall in her house on multiple occasions, attempting to assault her. 10. Nerida's account contradicts Virginia's long-held belief that she was only abused once; Nerida describes Beverly telling her she found Tout 'over you, sort of over you' in the early morning in bed — an incident Virginia has no memory of. 11. Liz Nix, a distant relative who contacted Virginia after the podcast began, describes being assaulted by Tout in 1992 at approximately 16 years old during a family holiday when he lay down beside her while she was napping and attempted to assault her until her brother walked in. 12. As a young adult at university studying veterinary science, Alex was raped by another trusted family member at a campsite while very drunk and asleep in a truck; her rapist held a pillow over her face when she made sounds, and his children were present in the vehicle. 13. Alex did not disclose the rape until 2016, when she took a near-lethal overdose of prescription medication and disclosures came out to her fiancé Damien and medical staff. 14. Alex's primary reason for not disclosing earlier was that she had correctly predicted it would destroy her relationship with family members; she told her fiancé Damien 'you will lose the family' and he responded that they would work through it. 15. The proximate trigger for Alex's 2016 overdose was Virginia's upcoming wedding, where Alex would have had to be in the same space as the man who had raped her; Lynn had not known this and had continued wedding preparations. 16. Lynn describes hosting 'a most beautiful wedding' while knowing what had happened to Alex, unable to tell anyone, and feeling that refusing to let the rapist destroy the family was the only form of power she had. 17. Virginia asks her mother directly whether she can forgive herself; Lynn responds 'I've done everything wrong' and says she sometimes wonders if losing Alex was a punishment. 18. The episode is structured as a road documentary — Virginia and Steve driving through cotton country, visiting farms, cemeteries, and family friends in Narrabri over several days — with each conversation revealing more than the previous one. 19. Listeners who can engage with first-person testimony about childhood sexual abuse, family complicity, and the long-term consequences of unreported assault will find this episode carefully reported and emotionally honest. 20. The episode includes a content warning for child sexual abuse and rape; listeners who find those topics difficult or who have young children nearby are advised before the episode begins.

As heard by us

A steady, grief-heavy investigation that lets the interviews do the hardest work.

Claire Harvey opens an investigative podcast about one woman's fight for justice, then keeps the family at the center of the telling. The episode stays with abuse, silence, guilt, and the uneasy second-guessing that follows, which gives it real force without pushing for drama.

Read the full review in PlayNext →

Why you'd press play

Follow one woman's quest to get justice for her sister as family secrets surface.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

Listen to the show on

Apple Podcasts Spotify

Play clips from this episode More from Who the Hell is Hamish?