Undefended Dharma with Mary Stancavage · Mary Stancavage

Intention and Expectations

September 8, 2025·20 min·2 clips

Mary Stancavage explains how setting an intention can guide you, but expectations about outcomes often lead to suffering.

In this solo episode of Undefended Dharma, meditation teacher Mary Stancavage examines the relationship between intention and expectations within Buddhist practice. She begins by positioning intention as the second factor of the Eightfold Path, following right view, and describes it as setting the course for how one moves forward with awareness. Stancavage outlines the three aspects of wise intention: goodwill (metta), compassion, and renunciation, emphasizing that renunciation involves seeing the nature of suffering and letting go of what causes it. She shares a personal story about a spontaneous New Year's intention to greet everyone with compassion, including herself, which emerged after a year of practicing loving-kindness meditation from Sharon Salzberg's book. The host discusses how intentions can change over time, citing her own intention to become comfortable with impermanence at the start of 2020, which proved relevant during the pandemic. She uses the metaphor of a ship sailing from New York to the UK, constantly adjusting its course due to winds and seas, to illustrate how intention provides direction while requiring adaptability in life's changing circumstances. Stancavage references Kevin Griffin's quote that intention gives clarity, direction, and resolve on the path, and notes Dan Siegel's neuroscience finding that intention primes the nervous system to notice relevant opportunities. She warns that expectations about specific outcomes can derail intention, using the example of metta practice where people expect others' lives to change magically. The host explains that expectations limit experience by focusing on a particular outcome, missing the reality of the present moment. She advises using dissatisfaction (dukkha) as an invitation for investigation rather than getting stuck in 'shoulds.' Stancavage discusses how the mind naturally judges and compares, but practice involves recognizing when one is stuck in stories about how things should be. She clarifies that having goals, like liberation, is compatible with Buddhism, but warns against attachment to specific outcomes. The episode concludes with the idea that letting go of expectations creates internal stillness, referencing Ajahn Chah's metaphor of a still forest pool where animals come to drink, allowing space for insight to arise.

As heard by us

A calm reminder that intention sets the course, but expectations can throw practice off.

Mary Stancavage keeps the episode focused on intention and expectations. She treats right intention as the part of the Eightfold Path that points practice in a direction: goodwill, compassion, and renunciation.

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Why you'd press play

If you keep turning intention into pressure, this gives you a calmer way to move forward.

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