The "With That In Mind" Podcast · Red Bird Mental Health Services

Episode 30: With That In Mind | Sex Education with Cindy Loftus-Vergari Part 2

·1 hr 10 min·5 clips

Cindy's grandmother advised against marrying after a pregnancy, revealing a surprising 1960s mindset on sexuality.

Dr. Megan Velozorzi, a psychologist and owner of Redbird Mental Health, hosts this episode with her mother, Cindy Loftus, a retired clinician and former sex therapist with four decades of experience. They continue their series on discussing sexuality with children, offering a generational perspective from both a parenting and professional standpoint. The conversation is framed around the "circles of sexuality," a model encompassing sexual health, identity, intimacy, sensuality, and sexualization. Cindy recounts her sex therapy training in the 1970s and notes the cultural shift following the availability of oral contraceptives. She shares a surprising anecdote about her grandmother's reaction to a cousin's out-of-wedlock pregnancy in the pre-birth control era. The hosts discuss the historical resistance to giving boys dolls, linking it to outdated fears about gender identity. Cindy describes her father becoming a primary caregiver in the 1950s, which challenged traditional gender roles in her family. They reference resources from SIECUS and Advocates for Youth for parents seeking information. A memorable story involves Cindy's young grandson casually mentioning his anatomy while playing Legos, modeling a neutral, age-appropriate response. They explore how early medical trauma can dissociate a child from their body, potentially affecting adult sexuality. The conversation critiques the different messages girls and boys receive about their bodies during toilet training. They analyze the cultural impact of Barbie dolls, which Cindy received in 1958, as both revolutionary for career possibilities and problematic for body image. Cindy recounts experiencing sexual harassment from a department head during her 1978 graduate school application, which motivated her academic success. She shares a story about her son and his friends finding a used condom on a playground and their science teacher's dismissive response. The hosts note that children between ages five and six often exhibit the strongest adherence to stereotypical gender roles. They discuss a recent New York Times article celebrating a football player proudly declaring himself a "mama's boy" as a positive generational shift. The tone is conversational, educational, and deeply personal, weaving professional expertise with family anecdotes and intergenerational reflection. This episode would greatly benefit parents, educators, or clinicians seeking practical frameworks and relatable stories for discussing sexuality across developmental stages. Listeners looking for a highly structured, clinical lecture or those uncomfortable with personal family narratives might find it less engaging.

As heard by us

Plainspoken guidance on talking to kids about sex, sexuality, and sexualization.

Dr. Meg and Cindy keep the conversation grounded by moving from sexuality and sexualization into what it means for adults to talk to kids about sex without shutting down.

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Why you'd press play

You want a calmer conversation about sex and kids.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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