The Penumbra Podcast · Harley Takagi Kaner and Kevin Vibert

OOPS! All Commercials! (THIRST commercials episodes 1-17)

April 2, 2026·41 min·3 clips

Scientists at Wet Park reveal their water substitute includes blood squeezed from stones under industrial pressure.

This special episode of The Penumbra Podcast is a compilation of fictional commercials set within its satirical universe, presented without host commentary. The ads parody various genres of real-world advertising, from retail to pharmaceuticals, within a dystopian setting. A recurring sponsor for the actual podcast, Depop, has its genuine ad read woven into the fictional segments. The episode features a commercial for Wet Park, a recreational water park that uses a synthetic substitute made from cooking oil, corn milk, and "a small amount of blood from a stone." A sketch for "Police Interrogation Bloopers" depicts officers joking about finding a wife's dismembered body parts before threatening a suspect with "corporal punishment." Boots Goliath's self-defense dojo promotes "pre-counterbullying" and cites the Federal Castle Doctrine to justify attacking potential threats first. Another segment introduces Sergeant Murder's Breakfast Soaps, a cereal tied to a cartoon character born from the trauma of the "water wars." An ad for Cash for Homes, from Sunnydale Realtors, offers to buy flooded properties, with one testimonial noting the company voided a 25-year insurance policy. The "Fix Your Face" cosmetic line from Better You aggressively insults customers with sun-damaged skin, telling them their appearance is "socially irresponsible." A recruitment ad featuring General Ricky Caruso entices bored children to join an Army boot camp where they can "overthrow a local government." Sal Butcher, a three-time Grammy winner, endorses eating trash to save money and fund the war effort, citing a dubious nutritional scientist. A commercial for the "Book Borrowing Subscription Service Compound" (BUBUSC) sarcastically describes the functions of a public library for a $450 monthly fee. President Kennedy Da Silva stars in a propagandistic news program called "The News," where he jokes about bombing Alaska and lists numerous national enemies. An ad for Chill Pill, a medication for heat relief, lists extreme side effects like "personality addition" and hearing an internal voice. "Television University" (TVU) promotes debate programming with titles like "30 juiced up veterans annihilate defenseless pacifist. Uncut." A surprising moment is the casual reveal within the Wet Park ad that seawater can cause "saltwater madness." The Sergeant Murder cereal ad abruptly shifts from a tragic war backstory to a cheerful jingle about marshmallow guns. The "Fix Your Face" ad's hostility escalates to telling the listener, "We hate you." The tone is consistently satirical, darkly humorous, and absurd, adopting the polished yet sinister style of corporate advertising. The style is narrative-driven, with each commercial building a brief, twisted world through scripted scenes and parody. Listeners who enjoy dark satire, dystopian world-building, and sharp parody of consumer culture and media will love this episode. Those who prefer the podcast's regular narrative arcs or are averse to bleak, cynical humor might want to skip it.

As heard by us

A fast, savage ad-parody spree where every sponsor read becomes part of the joke.

It lands like a full-volume ad carousel, turning fake sponsor copy into the whole point of the joke. What gives it bite is not any single pitch, but the way it keeps grinding the same bland corporate logic until it curdles into something absurd.

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Why you'd press play

You want ad-parody bits that start silly and keep getting more feral.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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