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The Peaceful Parenting Podcast · Sarah Rosensweet

Relational Aggression aka “Mean Girls” with Rachel Simmons: Episode 209

·51 min·3 clips
Parenting principles: all feelings welcome, not all behaviors; you can feel angry without threatening relationships.
Sarah Rosenzweig hosts Rachel Simmons, expert on relational aggression, discussing the 'mean girls' phenomenon that extends beyond girls to boys equally (post-middle school). Relational aggression is using relationships as weapons—silent treatment, friendship threats, manipulation. Rather than typical punishment, parents should treat it like physical aggression: stop behavior, address impact, teach alternatives. Key principles: all feelings welcome but not all behaviors; modeling is essential (parents who withdraw when upset teach withdrawal); girls are socialized to suppress anger, channeling it indirectly. Effective parenting requires integrated approach throughout day, not moment-specific correction. Parents must cultivate unconditional worth, respect, and secure attachment so children don't seek painful dynamics from peers.

As heard by us

A focused conversation about relational aggression and the parent decisions that follow when it appears.

The conversation stays tightly on relational aggression, whether a child is being targeted or doing the targeting. Rachel Simmons is framed as the expert on the subject and the author of Odd Girl Out, while the discussion turns practical: how parents can steady themselves,…

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Why you'd press play

When relational aggression starts landing hard, this gives you a steadier way to respond.

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