The Fifth Hour: On Board with Santa Benny

·27 min·2 clips

Ben Maller emerges from a men's bathroom as Santa Benny, decked head-to-toe in the iconic red suit popularized by Coca-Cola.

The episode opens with Ben Maller introducing the show on December 20th, noting NFL games and a Maller party. He transitions to discussing Dot Your Eyes Day, a quirky holiday, before diving into his main story: becoming Santa Benny for a yearly tradition. Maller describes arriving at an undisclosed city, changing in a men's bathroom, and emerging in a full Santa suit, referencing its Coca-Cola origins. He explains the ritual through a Passover analogy, listing differences like dressing up and riding a fire truck. The weather was favorable, and the experience felt like being Mickey Mouse in a parade, with kids and adults waving joyfully. Maller toured for three to four hours, visiting both middle-class and wealthy areas, observing that the Santa costume elicited similar reactions everywhere. He details practical challenges, such as avoiding bathroom breaks and the difficulty of climbing down from the fire truck, which he compares to a daredevil act. After the tour, he changed back and celebrated with chicken fingers. Later, Maller shifts to a story about a family function where he interacted with older relatives. His cousin asked about his radio show, starting with praise but using 'but' to criticize his past monologue on women's soccer, specifically a 2023 comment about the U.S. women's national team losing to teenage boys. Maller reflects on how this moment, years later, reminded him of the lasting impact of his words. He discusses the power of the microphone as an 'iron throne' that amplifies both truth and offense, noting that spoken words can echo into unexpected places like family gatherings. The episode concludes with Maller acknowledging the burden of his role, emphasizing that once words are said, they can be used against you, and he signs off with casual farewells.

As heard by us

Football chatter opens the door to a Santa story built around a fire-truck exit and a Raising Cane stop.

The Fifth Hour splits a December Saturday between football anticipation and a holiday bit that lands Ben Maller in full Santa mode, needing help down from a fire truck.

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Why you'd press play

You want Saturday Packers-Bears anticipation followed by Santa needing a firefighter-assisted exit? This December detour has your name on it.

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