The Chochmat Nashim Podcast: Women Talk Judaism · Jewish Coffee House

Rate Your Beit Din: Chochmat Nashim Tries on YELP for Size (Season 8 Episode 7)

·28 min·1 clip

One review says, “every single day was torture” and that she “actually contemplated suicide.”

Anne Gordon and Shoshana Keats-Jaskol begin by noting that they are recording on the day before Tanit Aster, and they treat that timing as meaningful, not decorative. The calendar leads them straight into Yom Ha'agunah, the day focused on women who are halachically bound in marriage against their will and best interests. The episode grows out of Shoshana's visit to the Knesset, where the issue was actually being addressed. That matters: this is not a fringe activist concern, but a serious Jewish problem with public consequences. From there, they turn to what get refusal looks like and who benefits when a divorce gets stuck. They describe the way some men withhold a get while pushing for a better civil or financial outcome. Unscrupulous lawyers and unscrupulous rabbis come up as part of the machinery, not just as background noise. The conversation stays practical and unsentimental about that. The hosts want the facts first, then the moral judgment. A major part of the discussion is the gap between official numbers and lived reality. One organization testifying in the Knesset rejects the idea that the problem is only a few dozen cases. The hosts repeat that their own caseload is already far larger than that. They note that the official count leaves out women whose cases were closed and women who never had representation. That mismatch matters because it makes the problem look smaller than it is. The episode also argues that this is not a women's issue in isolation. It is framed as a Jewish issue, full stop. If Jewish marriage is meant to carry holiness, then Jewish divorce has to carry dignity too. The hosts keep pressing the idea that there is no reason for divorce to be this ugly, this abusive, or this humiliating. They do not soften the point. They insist that the community has every reason to care. The discussion moves into what kinds of changes could make batei din less harmful. The hosts suggest that the system needs to serve men and women better, not just one side or the other. They draw a line between genuine halachic process and stonewalling that functions like abuse. That distinction becomes central. They are careful to say that not every delay is the same thing as get refusal, but they are just as careful to say that some delays are exactly that in practice. One recurring theme is how legal tactics can be weaponized. A spouse may insist on a civil divorce first and claim that the get will follow later. The hosts present that as refusal when it is being used to keep leverage. They also stress that batei din may vary in how they handle this kind of obstruction. The point is not just that the rules exist. The point is that enforcement and interpretation matter. The tone stays candid and communal rather than academic. The speakers use ordinary frustration, Hebrew legal terms, and small corrections to keep the stakes clear. They are not trying to sound detached. They are trying to show why the problem persists and why the community keeps undercounting it. By the end, the episode is less about one hearing than about a larger moral demand. Jewish divorce, they argue, has to stop being a place where dignity goes missing.

As heard by us

A serious, unsparing look at get refusal, Yom Ha'agunah, and the dignity Jewish divorce keeps losing.

This episode takes a blunt, practical look at get refusal, Yom Ha'agunah, and the ways Jewish divorce can turn ugly when it is treated as a private dispute.

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Why you'd press play

If you want a serious, source-grounded look at Jewish divorce reform, start here.

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