Queer Story Time The Podcast · Stevie Inghram

What If Your Child Is Queer or Trans? Gender Affirmation, Religious Dogma, & Parenting Strategies

·1 hr 9 min·5 clips

Dr. Lulu reveals that her Igbo language has no binary pronouns, proving queer existence isn't imported.

This episode of Queer Story Time features host Stevie Ingram and guest Dr. Lulu, a queer Nigerian-born pediatrician, former U.S. Air Force lieutenant colonel, and mother of a transgender daughter. Dr. Lulu's advocacy focuses on youth suicide prevention and gender affirmation, particularly for Black, gender-diverse youth. She discusses her personal journey and professional insights on supporting queer and trans youth. Dr. Lulu details her evolving identity, from identifying as lesbian and bisexual in Nigeria to embracing pansexuality in May 2024, which she defines as attraction to human beings beyond gender. She explains that her Igbo language lacks binary pronouns and historically had words for men who have sex with men and women who took wives, countering claims that queer identities are a Western import. Dr. Lulu connects the suppression of indigenous gender and sexual knowledge to the imposition of Abrahamic religions, which she argues used doctrine to colonize and erase pre-existing understandings. She describes how her transgender daughter prompted her to critically reassess her Catholic upbringing, leading her to leave the church on her 50th birthday. A key insight is Dr. Lulu's distinction between "gender affirmation," a broad social and emotional umbrella that starts at birth, and "gender affirming care," the specific medical or psychological aspect for older youth. She argues that most gender-affirming surgeries are performed on cisgender people, like men treating gynecomastia or women getting Brazilian butt lifts. Dr. Lulu notes that political extremism has targeted gender-affirming care, though it was not widely debated a decade ago. She also touches on polyamory, describing it as ethical non-monogamy among consenting adults, and shares her current identity as "polycurious." Dr. Lulu emphasizes that queer people lead ordinary lives beyond sex, highlighting identities like demisexuality, which requires emotional connection for arousal. The conversation is educational and conversational, blending personal narrative with historical and professional analysis. The tone is affirming and reflective, often returning to themes of liberation, ancestral knowledge, and holistic support. Listeners interested in the intersections of queer identity, decolonization, parenting, and mental health advocacy would appreciate this episode. Those seeking a debate on medical ethics or a strictly clinical perspective might find it less aligned with their interests.

As heard by us

A direct conversation about queer and trans life, faith, and the work of not causing harm.

Stevie Ingram opens episode 18 of Queer Storytime with a calm, steady tone that holds the conversation together. The guest comes across as both physician and clear advocate for queer and trans people, and the discussion moves through Christian identity, missionary influence, and…

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Why you'd press play

For when you want grounded talk about queer and trans lives, faith, and doctor trust.

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