Case #5 Source Code

·39 min·3 clips

Sloan asks Jake Gyllenhaal his height at dinner, and his mother holds up six fingers while he jokes.

1. Mystery Show host Starlee Kine investigates whether Jake Gyllenhaal is actually six feet tall, as he publicly claimed, or shorter. 2. The mystery is brought to Starlee by David, a former political cartoonist who now runs an artisanal pencil sharpening company and watched Source Code at the Fishkill Regal Cinema. 3. The episode's core question is whether Jake Gyllenhaal's self-reported height of 'happily six feet' — quoted at age 23 on CelebHeights.com — is accurate, given visible height inconsistencies in his films. 4. CelebHeights.com, moderated by rapper Xzibit, hosts an 11-page printout on Jake's height, which David describes as 'the infinite jest of Jake Gyllenhaal height-related discourse.' 5. Commenters on the site cite first-hand encounters — including a Weinstein Oscar party attendee who stood four inches from Jake and claims to have been at eye level at 5'8" — as evidence he is under six feet. 6. A commenter watching Jake on Jimmy Fallon notes both men wore identical Air Force 1 shoes in a hedgehog karate skit, concluding Jake is '5 foot 10 and a half at the most.' 7. The site introduces the concept of 'max morning height,' the real physiological phenomenon that humans are tallest after waking, which commenters apply to argue Jake's height varies by time of day. 8. One commenter proposes that shaving Jake's head would resolve the dispute, writing 'I should see him shaven' — which Starlee notes sounds more like a mild dietary resolution than a scientific imperative. 9. CelebHeights.com estimates of Jake's height range from 5'9" to 6'5", an eight-inch spread that David notes cannot be explained even by max morning height shrinkage. 10. Starlee posts to Twitter asking for Jake sightings and within a week has mapped his New York City schedule, including where he buys shirts and which shifts his brother-in-law Peter Sarsgaard works at a food co-op. 11. A near-miss occurs when friend Dan witnesses Jake standing outside a store for 30-40 minutes but does not call Starlee in time, prompting her to describe Jake as her 'celebrity Moriarty.' 12. Jeb, a producer of Source Code, agrees to ask Jake his height over dinner but reports back that Jake 'won't tell you how tall he is' and is 'trying to lay low.' 13. Field agent Sloan spots Jake at a restaurant dining with his mother and, after an hour of deliberation, approaches and asks his height; Jake says 'I'm six eight' and refuses to confirm or deny when his mother holds up six fingers. 14. Starlee eventually reaches Jake directly by phone, where he spends several minutes philosophizing about the nature of the mystery and the unknowability of certain facts before agreeing to answer. 15. Jake reveals his height as 'five foot 11 and one and one half of an inch,' below his publicly quoted six feet. 16. David declares this 'the best possible answer' because Jake's inclusion of the precise half-inch fraction demonstrates honesty rather than vanity rounding. 17. The episode moves at a leisurely, literary pace — Starlee's narration is deadpan and detail-rich, and Jake's phone segment is a long, circling philosophical conversation before the reveal. 18. Jake himself is playful and evasive throughout the call, telling Starlee 'I'm worried for you' rather than just answering, and comparing the moment to 'having a baby.' 19. Listeners who enjoy narrative podcasts with absurdist premises and precise comic writing will find this episode rewarding. 20. Listeners who want quick, practical information or dislike celebrity-focused content should skip this episode.

As heard by us

A tiny celebrity question turns into a mock-investigation with a dry, tender comic rhythm.

A former political cartoonist with an artisanal pencil-sharpening business gets pulled into a tiny, oddly absorbing mystery: figuring out Jake Gyllenhaal's height without losing the deadpan seriousness that makes the joke land.

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Why you'd press play

You want a dead-serious mystery about how tall Jake Gyllenhaal is.

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