ICYMI · Slate Podcasts

The “My Husband Hates Me” Influencer

March 14, 2026·32 min·2 clips

Melanie Hamlet's five-minute improvised song about Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard blew up on Instagram, leading to a fiery comment from Bell.

This episode of ICYMI examines the online trend of women, particularly influencers, publicly sharing stories about husbands who seem to dislike them. Host Sachi Cole is joined by journalist and content creator Melanie Hamlet, who is known for her critiques of celebrity relationships and patriarchal norms. They analyze why this phenomenon resonates and what it reveals about modern heterosexual marriage. The conversation centers on the public relationship of celebrities Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard, whom Hamlet has frequently critiqued. Hamlet references a specific Instagram post where Bell quoted Shepard saying, "I would never kill you," despite being "heavily incentivized." The discussion expands to a broader pattern on TikTok, where women post videos detailing their husbands' neglectful or contemptuous behavior, often followed by justificatory follow-up videos. Hamlet cites an article in The Cut titled "I Love My Husband Who Hates Me" that explores this cultural moment. Hamlet argues that couples like Bell and Shepard have positioned themselves as relatable marriage spokespeople, which makes their dynamic particularly influential. She shares that some commenters have said this couple helped them "live in their delusion" about their own relationships longer. The episode explores reasons women might post this content, ranging from seeking community and unconscious cries for help to deliberate rage-baiting for platform growth. Hamlet notes that women often act as "PR managers" for their male partners, defending them due to financial or social dependency. A surprising insight is Hamlet's observation that many straight white women, in particular, bond with each other by despising their husbands, which can provide a sense of moral superiority. She connects this to a learned attachment to a victim identity, even while acknowledging the real constraints of patriarchy. Hamlet shares a personal anecdote about her husband, who refused to participate in workplace bonding that involved spousal ridicule, which eventually shifted his coworkers to competitively bragging about their wives instead. The conversation delves into how men bond over spousal contempt, with Hamlet recalling her time in male-dominated industries where she heard overtly misogynistic talk. She suggests this behavior is often about men seeking approval from other men in a homosocial hierarchy. Hamlet reframes certain behaviors, like silent treatment or verbal threats, as forms of "silent violence" that constitute a threat even without physical harm. She disagrees with the sentiment that women "deserve what they tolerate," emphasizing that many lack the resources, community, or framework to recognize their situation as problematic. The tone is conversational, analytical, and infused with dark humor, as both hosts draw from personal experiences and cultural criticism. The style is educational but informal, blending media analysis, social commentary, and personal narrative. Listeners interested in dissecting internet trends, gender dynamics, and the intersection of celebrity and influencer culture would enjoy this episode. Those seeking light entertainment or who are uncomfortable with critiques of traditional marriage and heterosexual norms might prefer to skip it.

As heard by us

A pointed review of how a viral marriage joke becomes a question of safety.

ICYMI starts with a recognizable unhappy-marriage premise: a woman posts about a husband who seems to hate her, and the story moves quickly into the people watching from the comment section.

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Why you'd press play

If you want to know why women defend husbands strangers say they should leave, press play.

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