Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide · Dr. Jessica Higgins

ERP 500: The Practice of Us: Living the Skills That Keep Love Alive

·47 min·3 clips

Jessica recalls telling Reed in 2006, "I'm scared you're not as into me as I am to you."

1. Empowered Relationship Podcast episode 500 centers on the practice of honesty, trust, and love in Jessica Higgins and Reed Peterson's marriage. 2. Dr. Jessica Higgins is a psychologist and relationship coach, and Reed Peterson is her husband, which matters because the episode uses their own relationship as the example. 3. The episode asks what "relationship principles and skills" actually look like in daily life, and Jessica says she compiled the top 12 from research, training, interviews, and experience. 4. Jessica points listeners to a free PDF guide titled "12 Relationship Principles, 12 Relationship Skills to Strengthen Love" in the show notes. 5. Reed describes honesty as speaking the "underlying core feelings, emotions, and needs" instead of leading with strategy. 6. He says honesty can bring chest, shoulder, and neck tension, plus breath-holding, before a release and a sense of relief. 7. Jessica and Reed connect honesty to vulnerability, shame, and the experience of feeling safe when the other person responds well. 8. Jessica gives a 2006 dating story where she told Reed, "I'm scared you're not as into me as I am to you," after struggling with his external cues. 9. Reed says that moment felt like a "sweaty 10-minute conversation" and that his leaning in helped deepen their intimacy. 10. The couple revisits a Banff morning after six or seven days of hiking more than six and a half to seven miles a day, when Jessica said she felt like she had to earn love. 11. Reed says he held Jessica while she cried, and that the exchange felt "extremely healing" and "extremely powerful." 12. Reed calls honesty an "antidote for shame" and says his heart wants to love while his head wants to protect and be right. 13. The conversation moves into conflict management, including a recommendation to calm the nervous system for at least 20 minutes when flooding or shutdown appears. 14. Reed and Jessica use their house projects as a live example of conflict, including remodeling ideas, different perspectives, and financing disagreements. 15. Reed says he may need hours or a day to cool off, and Jessica says it matters when he reassures her that he still wants to resolve the conflict. 16. Jessica links this to attachment research and says "the lived felt embodied practice of turning towards one another" builds trust over time. 17. The episode's style is intimate and reflective, with Jessica prompting Reed for stories and Reed answering in a conversational, unscripted way. 18. The tone stays personal and practical, moving between somatic awareness, relationship theory, and examples from marriage, travel, and homeownership. 19. People working on repair, reassurance, and honest communication in long-term relationships will get the most from this episode. 20. Listeners seeking a fast entertainment format or a story without relationship process may skip it.

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