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ELI5 Crying - why do we cry with both sadness and joy?

March 6, 2026·8 min

The episode begins with hosts Tim and Kevin introducing the topic of crying, challenging the common view that it's solely about sadness by describing it as a 'violent biological reset button.' They explain that crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms the body after stress spikes, whether from heartbreak or joy. The physical symptoms of extreme emotions are noted as almost identical, leading to crying in both weddings and funerals. The hosts then explore the evolutionary perspective, suggesting crying started as a submission signal because it makes individuals look non-threatening, thereby increasing chances of receiving care and bonding within groups. A listener question about post-crying jerky gasps is addressed, with Kevin explaining these as involuntary diaphragm spasms that help lower cortisol, comparing them to 'recovery reps.' The loudness of these gasps is linked to crying's social function, as a silent reset wouldn't alert others. The globus sensation, or throat lump before crying, is described as a tension from the glottis trying to stay open for oxygen while swallowing is attempted. Emotional tears are differentiated from reflex tears like those from onions, with emotional tears containing higher stress-related substances but serving more as a signal than a detox method. The body's use of the same crying response for both sadness and joy is attributed to measuring physiological intensity rather than emotional meaning. The episode concludes by noting that crying is genetically hardwired, with newborns using it for survival and regulation before they can speak, emphasizing its role in nervous system engineering and communication.

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