Disordered: Anxiety Help · Josh Fletcher and Drew Linsalata

Self-Soothing When Anxiety Appears? (Episode 102)

·45 min·4 clips

Josh Fletcher explains when self-soothing helps anxiety recovery versus when it becomes counterproductive control.

This episode explores the distinction between helpful self-soothing and counterproductive attempts to control anxiety. Hosts Joshua Fletcher, a psychotherapist known as Anxiety Josh, and Drew Linsalata, a fellow anxiety specialist therapist, examine this nuanced therapeutic concept. They frame the discussion around recovery from anxiety disorders. The hosts define control as a behavior that kicks in with a sense of urgency to stop an anxious experience immediately. They contrast this with self-soothing, which is framed as a supportive act after an exposure or challenging period. Joshua Fletcher provides a clear example: refusing to self-soothe *during* an exposure exercise to avoid feeling bad. He offers another example of acceptable self-soothing: coming home after a tiring day, putting on comfortable clothes, and watching TV. A key insight is that the intent behind the action determines whether it is soothing or controlling. The problematic pattern involves using self-soothing techniques as a tool to terminate or avoid anxiety in the moment. The hosts emphasize that self-soothing is a compassionate practice when it supports you through an experience rather than tries to stop it. They assert there is "nothing wrong with self-soothing" when correctly applied. Joshua Fletcher explicitly connects self-soothing to his frequent advocacy for self-compassion in recovery. The episode suggests that listeners often confuse the two concepts, leading to stalled progress. A memorable moment involves Joshua Fletcher crediting Drew Linsalata for thinking of the topic while strolling through Manchester. The tone is educational, conversational, and supportive, with light banter between the co-hosts. The style is direct, using clear definitions and relatable examples to explain therapeutic principles. Listeners actively engaged in exposure therapy for anxiety disorders would find this episode particularly valuable. Anyone confused about why their coping strategies sometimes feel ineffective would gain clarity. Individuals seeking a purely narrative or interview-based podcast episode might find this topic too clinically focused.

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